* I'm skipping ahead because basically nothing good happened in april and may. I was ill, it sucked, cameron was re-elected, etc.

* I went to Harrow to go to a specialist gastrointestinal hospital. it was next to the biggest hospital I've ever been in, it had it's own grocery shop! the doctor has me lined up for an MRI just in case I have the world's least obvious case of Crohn's and some more hydrogen breath tests in order to get more information on the bacterial overgrowth. it's highly unlikely I actually have Crohn's but I'm scared anyway because it would be so awful if I did.

* Ocado got these delicious coconut milk ice lollies in and they're delicious. I said delicious twice but they are.

* PHILAE WOKE UP!!! good job space friend. I was very sad when it landed in a hole but now it seems like that might actually have been a good thing in a way, because it was protected. space is a harsh place for a little probe!

* I got my first ever proper sunburn! I've never got one before because my skin tans very easily, but I guess it'd been weakened by the rash I had earlier this year, or just not enough sunlight? either way I got burnt. I'm going to be more careful now and wear sunscreen. I sound like I'm whining about this but honestly I actually feel quite chuffed, like I got to join a club.

* I'm so pumped for the animal crossing home designer game!!! I like to give the animals houses that match their personalities anyway and it always bugs me how they won't put things on tables and arrange things in a stupid way, but now I can make them all cute rooms! plus I will be able to have all the furniture from new leaf that I've been longing for (CAKE DISPLAYS)(I don't have new leaf because I am forever loyal to my wild world villagers). and I can be less frighteningly pale too!

* I want a wii u to play Yoshi's wooly world. I wanted one before but now it's a BURNING NEED. I'm gonna get the amiibo too even if I don't get the wii u because HE'S MADE OF YARN!!! YARN YOSHI!!!!!!

* I FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT AT THE GENDER IDENTITY CLINIC!!! I have been waiting since november 2013.

* I got my secret stantler gift! it's called The Acorn and it's about Shaymin. it's a crossover with the Hobbit films, which I haven't seen but I know the basic plot of. I drew this, and the person who got it seemed pleased so that's good.

* so GIC right. well. it didn't go so good. the psych I saw was insistent that gender was all about performing as either male or female in public and so a) I had to try to live and pass as male if I wanted help and b) as I don't go out much I don't really qualify for help as if a Rax has dysphoria in the woods no one hears it cry. on the plus side! my gp has been super helpful and recommended a surgeon who would do top surgery (which is all I'm really after) privately. I could pay for it with my inheritance from my grandparents, and I wouldn't have to argue with ignorant people who trigger my PTSD about whether my gender exists or not.

* he also thought I have asperger's? which I'm taking with a whole box of salt seeing as his evidence was things like "likes star trek" and "likes things to be lined up straight". still, my brother has it and my dad probably does so maybe? eh, it's not like it changes anything one way or the other.

* and he thought star trek and doctor who were interchangeable! I mean, AS IF. but enough about him I am trying to put it behind me.

* my mother needs an emergency hip replacement :( it's been bad for about two years but now it's suddenly accelerated and she needs it within a month really. it's all very safe and routine and everything but naturally I'm mad scared because HOSPITAL. I would appreciate if those of you who do prayers or vibes or things of those sort could aim a few in her direction because I can't really do anything else.

* my new purple fluffy jumper I got for my birthday is so warm and fluffy I haven't felt cold at all even though it has been snowing! mind you I haven't actually been outside much. but the daffodils are coming up and that's nice.

* I love being healthy enough to study!!! I love being healthy enough to draw!!! please based shaymin let this continue!!!

* can movember be over yet please

* I got a goat for my birthday! both a soft fluffy goat for cuddling and an live hungry goat for eating scrub on wildlife reserves and thus protecting valuable chalk grassland habitat. the big goat (who I only really "adopted" a share in) is called Cassie and the little goat is called Cassis because puns are cute. Cassie is white with one pinkish horn and one grey horn, while Cassis is white all over and wears a tiny goat coat to prevent me spilling chocolate oat milk on her (again).

* Olivia moved back to Bigsock and put her house in the spot I least wanted it but OH WELL I guess I will have to rearrange the flowerbeds.

* I got a jigsaw (not really hard enough but my aunt didn't know I am actually a god of jigsaws) and some nice warm purple clothes and a book about maths that I got halfway through a year ago but had to return to the library. the book is really interesting but I don't think anyone who reads this really wants to hear about set theory so I will spare you.

* I hate getting older and older without accomplishing anything. I want to go to university SO MUCH and learn and make friends and just have a semi-normal life. maybe one day. at least I don't look old I guess?

* I don't want to end this on a downer. lately I've been making more effort to talk to people I like and I think it's going quite well? I've been having problems with skype and so if you want to talk to me it's best to do it through pidgin (which you can use with msn and aim and other instant messengers as I'm sure you know). or email me or message here or something! I like to talk to you, person reading this!

* in august I started a new medicine that made me ill. this is obviously the defining theme of 2014 for me. no one has ever got ill from it before so I am making medical history, yaaaaaaay. I stopped being so ill when I stopped taking it though so at least it did not permanent damage.

* I FINALLY heard back from the gender identity clinic that I contacted LAST NOVEMBER. they apologised for the delay but did not explain it. I'm on a waiting list now which is better than being in a void of nothingness like before.

* something cool that happened a while back but I didn't mention is that we got solar panels put on the roof. the water is always hot now and it is lovely.

* it bothers me how no one in tomodachi life has any goddamn ears.

I'd combine this with july but it would get long.

* I had a surgical procedure (not technically an operation even though I was under general anaethetic) that everyone had hyped to be a game changer which totally wasn't. I was probably the least upset because I never believe in anything anymore anyway. I managed to make the whole thing worse by spilling a cup of near boiling water on my crotch shortly before having to head to the hospital but because I got the aloe vera on it quickly it actually wasn't a huge deal. I could tell everyone was proud of my timing though.

* my brother came to stay. he lost it (WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT), stuff happened, and now he is no longer allowed to come here. overall it's safer this way for all of us.


* the medicine I had to take before the s.p. made me pretty ill for the whole rest of the month so I didn't get out much at all. I did go to a nice nature reserve with lots of birdlife and a no dog policy! which is great because birds and dogs don't really mix and I am bird. I saw a common kingfisher for about the second time ever!

* I sent a letter to Willow and it was kind of fun! I would like to exchange letters with other people too. If you would like a letter, with some dumb pictures or some small light items like pokemon cards, please comment with your address. comments will of course be screened! my postal address is in the uk and I can send to anywhere, but not heavy or large things.

so I'm having another operation in two weeks. everyone is optimistic about it except me. I just hope I don't get MRSA this time.

* so I am here in France now and the weather is eminently more reasonable! the Med is hella cold though.

* Perpignan seems to have more than its fair share of crying babies. or maybe the studio we are renting is on baby street? or maybe these things are sent to test me.

* currently I am mad because some complete wanker on the internet claims that people with more unusual phobias or triggers DELIBERATELY MANUFACTURED THEM for attention on tumblr. and someone I was goping to befriend is apparently friendly with him so, yeah. *crosses off to-befriend list* what a total tosspot.

* but! I have a delicious raspberry and rose flavoured drink so all is not lost. I wanted to get kiwi and banana too but it had fructose syrup in it :(

I've been seeing in the new year by sleeping near-constantly and feeling like death while awake so I've been putting of making any resolutions. Then I decided that I hate resolutions because they're so vague, "I will get fit", like HOW fit? If I make open ended resolutions like that I'm just going to beat myself up for not doing well enough. So instead I'm going to make some concrete goals that I want to get done before 2014.

* finish at least 5 pictures off picture list
* do at least five character refs
* reach next city in every pokemon game currently on the go
* get strong enough to do 10 proper push ups in a row without dying
* organise Buck's flowerbed
* do some maths every day, even if it's just going over stuff in my head
* figure out wtf is wrong with my laptop
* figure out wtf is wrong with minecraft forge
* don't cry over computers
* get started on transitioning stuff (weeps)
* make new icons for all tumblrs and dw
* draw at least five ask salamanders answers
* try to stay on top of freerice but don't get sick over it
* stop reading comics I don't enjoy
* set up paypal account
* organise sprawling pics folders into sleek new system
* do stupid breathing exercises every day ugh
* don't die

Welp that's a lot more than I expected OH WELL I GUESS WE'LL SEE

1. I went to the dentist! I haven't been for like, five years so I was kind of nervous that they'd take on look at my teeth and back away screaming but actually they just told me to floss more. Had an awkward moment when they handed me my medical history to update and wanted to know all about my issuesTM but I just put down "and other stuff" which I think covers it.

2. Guess what, I have a super power and will shortly be joining the X-men. I was lying on a rug in the garden, with my ear to the rug, and then I began to hear a strange sort of squealing/creaking sound. I moved my head to another position and it stopped. So I moved it back and it started again. I was pretty intrigued so I got up and moved the rug and found my head had been on...an ants nest! I CAN HEAR ANTS SHOUTING AT ME. None of them seemed hurt just cross with me. SORRY ANTS.

3. So much rain D: Roads are flooding and everything, this is not proper June weather. Dry winters and wet summers seems to be the new status quo though :/

4. Going to France in like two weeks, wheeeee!

5. Reading though the logs of this awesome RP I used to belong to when I played a marsupial snake alien lady and investigated mysterious situations. We ended after only a few sessions because Nazir, who ran it, got too ill, and I've missed it (and him) ever since. I hope you're still around somewhere out there buddy.

In this comic (very jokey suicide warning I guess?) Reginald is basically me. Every so often when I'm just hanging about I'll make a sort of moaning noise, and that means I am remembering my past.

I have been trying to be a better person lately, and do more stuff for the world! I can't volunteer or anything so I've basically just been signing petitions on Change.org and playing Free Rice. Still at least it's something right?

In EXCELLENT news, we finally got a Wii! So I'm going to be KARTING THE NIGHT AWAY with my old buddies from the mushroom kingdom!

k just in case anyone was wondenring if id died or qnything i hqvent. im in frqnce in a cybercafe with a terrible keyboard; there is no internet at the farmhouse but i am having a good time and only missing the great things everyone is drawing in my absense hope you are all okay love rax xxxx

It snowed like a SUNUVABITCH here, everything's blocked up/closed. I've never seen snow like this before :o Of course I couldn't actually go out in it and play like everyone else whine whine complain. It's not that big a deal, it's hardly the only snow in the world, but I'm still left over grumpy from missing the time corps games on thursday. I think maybe my ME clinic is run by people with ME, that's why nothing ever gets done.

IN MORE CHEERFUL NEWS I'm making headway on the art front, got two pictures nearly finished, a bunch more worked on and a few started stop judging me. I'm feeling pretty good about life in general, really. I'M NOT DEAD YET LET'S CELERBRATE

Okay, either:
1. Some other me in a parallel reality has found out how to contact me through my computer OR
2. I have finally lost it completely OR
3. That last jump off the desk was too much for my speakers

Disembodied whispering voices and thumps? More disturbing than they sound.

Uh, I mean, hi, new people, I would say things are normally less crazy around here but that would be a lie.

Christmas has come and gone with only one ambulance visit (not me!) and two punch ups (only one of them me!). I got books that I wanted and the walking with dinosaurs boxset on DVD and an awesome shirt, but most importantly I got a new tablet :DDDDDDDDDD It came with painter 3 essentials which I messed around with and, okay, WHAT IS THIS THING. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. HELP. This is like the paint program version of an old DOS point and click adventure you lost the manual too.

Not long till new yeeeaaaarr~ Gotta work on new year's presents. My christmas present offer still stands, if you've changed your mind about it! FREE STUFF IS ALWAYS GOOD unless it's broken leg or something, that's not good.

★[ NEW YEARS FRIENDING MEME ]★