The Cosmic Doughnut

* I FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT AT THE GENDER IDENTITY CLINIC!!! I have been waiting since november 2013.

* I got my secret stantler gift! it's called The Acorn and it's about Shaymin. it's a crossover with the Hobbit films, which I haven't seen but I know the basic plot of. I drew this, and the person who got it seemed pleased so that's good.

* so GIC right. well. it didn't go so good. the psych I saw was insistent that gender was all about performing as either male or female in public and so a) I had to try to live and pass as male if I wanted help and b) as I don't go out much I don't really qualify for help as if a Rax has dysphoria in the woods no one hears it cry. on the plus side! my gp has been super helpful and recommended a surgeon who would do top surgery (which is all I'm really after) privately. I could pay for it with my inheritance from my grandparents, and I wouldn't have to argue with ignorant people who trigger my PTSD about whether my gender exists or not.

* he also thought I have asperger's? which I'm taking with a whole box of salt seeing as his evidence was things like "likes star trek" and "likes things to be lined up straight". still, my brother has it and my dad probably does so maybe? eh, it's not like it changes anything one way or the other.

* and he thought star trek and doctor who were interchangeable! I mean, AS IF. but enough about him I am trying to put it behind me.

* my mother needs an emergency hip replacement :( it's been bad for about two years but now it's suddenly accelerated and she needs it within a month really. it's all very safe and routine and everything but naturally I'm mad scared because HOSPITAL. I would appreciate if those of you who do prayers or vibes or things of those sort could aim a few in her direction because I can't really do anything else.

* my new purple fluffy jumper I got for my birthday is so warm and fluffy I haven't felt cold at all even though it has been snowing! mind you I haven't actually been outside much. but the daffodils are coming up and that's nice.

* I love being healthy enough to study!!! I love being healthy enough to draw!!! please based shaymin let this continue!!!

I love art exchanges. I used to do a pokemon one that I should really check up on to see if it's still going, and there's this pony one and I'm starting a fan character one of my own as soon as I get the graphics figured out :D

To all the people I owe art: I swear, I have not forgotten! I'm just working on it incredibly slowly, which is horrible of me but I know that if I make it top priority, above getting well/life etc. then I'll really fuck myself over. I'm sorry it sound selfish, but I need to look at the situation I'm in logically at the moment. When I'm well(er), I'll draw you all nine pictures each.
The sunshine and warmth of spring is giving me a chance to improve and I've got to take it.

There is a WiP collage thing of all the pictures I owe under the cut, so you can see where I've got to on yours (don't look if you sill want a surprise). If I've forgotten you, throw something at me.

( You can't see that much of some of them, I'm afraid. )

I can beat this fucker. I can. Even if I can't, I'm gonna try so hard I'll be like diamond, bitches.

So that list eh.

*Teadragon imp picture
*Cial starpirate picture
* on that note, find an old cookie cutter screw that, I'll just use a knife and a template. I made the first batch but they turned out too sloppy and lost their shape so I'ma do another lot. GUYS, YOU WILL GET BISCUITS. SOMEDAY.
*Kali picture
*find goddamn Vesna ref
*do better Vesna ref once I've found the old one so I know how her stupid arm things go
*finish example icons for hopeful moneeeyzzz
*finish star wars character refs
*Vesna pic 1
*Vesna pic 2 (screw you vesna)
*Em fanart
*Metrazol pic
*Marisuu pic
*blue lantern furret
*nekkid Soshika pic for Kilo
*shaymin pic
*pokemon art meme
*sims 2 cc stuff
*scan older stuff in and finally send it to the people it was for etc.
*EPIC POKEMON FANFIC
*DO NOT start anything new I mean it this time no seriously don't
*errrr, peacock dragon
*and deryckak's christmas present
*FAILURE TO KEEP ELECTION PROMISES

...yeah. Sorry, people who are waiting for stuff, things have been sucking like a black hole around here recently. I came down with another snot bug. Mum is really not well and I'm the only one who seems to notice when she's going into a down phase. I dunno, either I'm an empath or these people have skin like rhinos. And by these people I mean my father. My new doctor went on holiday for two weeks, and then when she came back she was ill, so I'm just flopping about like an old dishcloth and being pathetically grateful for all the music people have uploaded, particularly Deryckak <3

Someone should start a sabrous rp on tegaki. That would be awesome. The rps on tegaki at the moment are either dressing room style things (bleh) or SUPA ELITE (help). Plus it would be advertising. And stuff. I'M ILL, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

Maybe if I make a list and stick it right at the top of this journal I'll actually get motivated to finish something before armageddon.

*Teadragon imp picture
*Cial starpirate picture
*on that note, find an old cookie cutter
*Kali picture
*find goddamn Vesna ref
*do better Vesna ref once I've found the old one so I know how her stupid arm things go
*finish example icons for hopeful moneeeyzzz
*finish star wars character refs
*Vesna pic 1
*Vesna pic 2 (screw you vesna)
*Em fanart
*Metrazol pic
*Marisuu pic
*blue lantern furret
*nekkid Soshika pic for Kilo
*shaymin pic
*pokemon art meme
*sims 2 cc stuff
*scan older stuff in and finally send it to the people it was for etc.
*EPIC POKEMON FANFIC
*DO NOT start anything new I mean it this time no seriously don't

In other news, I think I have mono. This may be because I sold my immune system aged 7 to buy heroin. We made our own entertainment back then.

I cannot confine myself to one thing at a time. Currently I'm working on about six pictures at once. I'M A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. I'm trying to get digital painting down, but it's not behaving :( And it takes EONS. So far:




Otomas was playing Neverwinter Nights next to me while I daubed madly, and we were discussing Aribeth (a paladin lady) and her boyfriend Fenwick (a monumental drip).

Oto: Anyway, I thought paladins couldn't have boyfriends and so on. It's against their laws.

Me:...I don't think so.

Oto: Oh wait! Darn. I was thinking of nuns.