* my mum got her hip replaced! she didn't qualify for a replacement before even though it's been bad for ages because she's too young but it got really bad and then they had to. so she can walk about again and climb the stairs and go out! we're gonna go to birdworld to celebrate. (birdworld is an aviary with some other animals and next door is an aquarium.) there's a lot of walking to see the whole thing though so we need to train up, because I'm super unfit too. but it's spring and there will be BABBY BIRDES!!!

* I stopped taking so much acid represent because apparently low acidity can really make SIBO worse and it seems to be helping without making me so acid I get burns? which is good. I've been super ill lately (hence my not being around) and I want so much to actually get stuff done this year.

* I'm so excited about pi, I love pi, I'm getting to the stage where it's allllll coming together and pi is so important and magical. happy pi day. also I ate a pie and it was delicious.

* I've been drawing a bit more using colours!3d on my 3ds, it's easier than getting my tablet set up and arranged and all. you can see my pictures here or I post them to my art tumblr eventually. colours! is basically deviantart in 3d, there's many children and many drama, but there's some amaaaazingly talented people.

* the spring is here at last and I can sit in the garden and listen to next door's power tools. but when he goes inside it's nice! the plum tree is in blossom and the pigeons are going crazy for the fruit...bud..things......anyway they're getting their snack on.

* I hope everyone is okay and hopefully better than okay? I'm sorry for being so scarce lately. how is the spring in your part of the world?

* I FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT AT THE GENDER IDENTITY CLINIC!!! I have been waiting since november 2013.

* I got my secret stantler gift! it's called The Acorn and it's about Shaymin. it's a crossover with the Hobbit films, which I haven't seen but I know the basic plot of. I drew this, and the person who got it seemed pleased so that's good.

* so GIC right. well. it didn't go so good. the psych I saw was insistent that gender was all about performing as either male or female in public and so a) I had to try to live and pass as male if I wanted help and b) as I don't go out much I don't really qualify for help as if a Rax has dysphoria in the woods no one hears it cry. on the plus side! my gp has been super helpful and recommended a surgeon who would do top surgery (which is all I'm really after) privately. I could pay for it with my inheritance from my grandparents, and I wouldn't have to argue with ignorant people who trigger my PTSD about whether my gender exists or not.

* he also thought I have asperger's? which I'm taking with a whole box of salt seeing as his evidence was things like "likes star trek" and "likes things to be lined up straight". still, my brother has it and my dad probably does so maybe? eh, it's not like it changes anything one way or the other.

* and he thought star trek and doctor who were interchangeable! I mean, AS IF. but enough about him I am trying to put it behind me.

* my mother needs an emergency hip replacement :( it's been bad for about two years but now it's suddenly accelerated and she needs it within a month really. it's all very safe and routine and everything but naturally I'm mad scared because HOSPITAL. I would appreciate if those of you who do prayers or vibes or things of those sort could aim a few in her direction because I can't really do anything else.

* my new purple fluffy jumper I got for my birthday is so warm and fluffy I haven't felt cold at all even though it has been snowing! mind you I haven't actually been outside much. but the daffodils are coming up and that's nice.

* I love being healthy enough to study!!! I love being healthy enough to draw!!! please based shaymin let this continue!!!

* the problem with reviewing months after they have ended is that by that point any events have faded in memory and it seems pointless to dredge them up again, therefore I do not make the review posts at all. in future I will write the post over a month as the events occur and only publish them at the month's end.

* I have those horizontal scores in my nails from this summer that signify a period of extreme disruption of health. I fell oddly proud of them, like they are medals of war.

* what is pumpkin spice??? why are americans obsessed with it??? these are the questions we ask ourselves in the autumn. pumpkins are not spicy, they are boring wet squashes. why would you put pumpkin in a latte???

* that's literally all I can remember

* in our last thrilliing instalment, I was ill(er than usual). I continued to be ill in July! but I did manage to have a few nice days out in the sun. a picnic, a pud lunch, and a visit to Tillgate park to see the birds and other animals. there was a very chatty lorie who suprised me by creaking out "hellllo" from behind a clumo of bamboo, and a bull who constantly licked his two cows in an affectionate but sticky way. the harvest mice were as tiny as I remembered them and were making a new nest. I fed a nice goat and patted her head.

* a new medicine was prescribed to me that theorectically could make a big difference. it's a a mega-probiotic of the sort given to factory farm animals that might repopulate my small intestine.

* ...except that no one thought of the consequences of downing a metric tonne of bacteria while having the immune system of a tiny hysterical baby.

* so I spent most of July lying in bed naked covered in huge blisters and a rash and sores all over my gums and lips and with a fever. I ate a lot of ice.

* I also played a lot of Tomodachi Life! I didn't order it becuase of the whole "no homodachi" business but Nasus got a copy and lent it to me. it provided about the right level of entertainment to a person strung out on strong anithistamines. Rax in the game wears a hamster suit and is married to Aurora Walrus. the island currently has me, Nasus, Owl, all four Walruses (Mitik, Pakak, Kula, and Aurora), Mario Luigi and Peach, and Blathers and Celeste the owls from animal crossing. I'm trying to make Nook but he's a bit tricky to humanise.

* if anyone wants a free Tomodachi Life trial code we have three! I assume the version you would get would be the uk one? I don't know how it works.

* it seems like all I do on this journal is talk about how ill I've been but to be fair I don't really have much else going on in my life.

so I'm having another operation in two weeks. everyone is optimistic about it except me. I just hope I don't get MRSA this time.

1. I went to the dentist! I haven't been for like, five years so I was kind of nervous that they'd take on look at my teeth and back away screaming but actually they just told me to floss more. Had an awkward moment when they handed me my medical history to update and wanted to know all about my issuesTM but I just put down "and other stuff" which I think covers it.

2. Guess what, I have a super power and will shortly be joining the X-men. I was lying on a rug in the garden, with my ear to the rug, and then I began to hear a strange sort of squealing/creaking sound. I moved my head to another position and it stopped. So I moved it back and it started again. I was pretty intrigued so I got up and moved the rug and found my head had been on...an ants nest! I CAN HEAR ANTS SHOUTING AT ME. None of them seemed hurt just cross with me. SORRY ANTS.

3. So much rain D: Roads are flooding and everything, this is not proper June weather. Dry winters and wet summers seems to be the new status quo though :/

4. Going to France in like two weeks, wheeeee!

5. Reading though the logs of this awesome RP I used to belong to when I played a marsupial snake alien lady and investigated mysterious situations. We ended after only a few sessions because Nazir, who ran it, got too ill, and I've missed it (and him) ever since. I hope you're still around somewhere out there buddy.

this medicine is making me feel like a dizzy zombie with kidney pains. which is okay i guess i like zombies a lot. they get a bad rap but i mean if you support euthanasia then you gotta support zombies too i think. think i might paint something tomorrow. i don't know, i'm nervous and disconnected. weird how i can spell disconnected right but not tomorrow. god ol' spell check, he's a good guy.

note to self: there's a missile in the tunnel near the save room and some sort of weak post in the research base. also drink more fluids.

okay i am going to bed before i am sick in the keyboard goodnight internet.

kiss kiss

Blah. I guess I'm starting to finally learn that this illness, condition, whatever, is something I can't just power through with sheer force of will. It's not a lesson I want to learn. But after trying to stick out the TC game and ending up spending the night on the bathroom floor and frightening everyone with internal bleeding worse than I've had for a year or so now, I think I'm going to have to start accepting that there are things I can't do. I think maybe I should quit the game, I feel horrible for holding everyone up. I should have known this was going to happen, I KNEW I was ill, I misjudged my own strength. Goddamnit.

Spent...yesterday? I guess? Asleep, then woke up and watched healing Star Trek. Acting so bad, plots so silly, Kirk and Spock so married.

Why do I always get ugly Blanca faces, isn't nintendo interested in quality control >|

So that list eh.

*Teadragon imp picture
*Cial starpirate picture
* on that note, find an old cookie cutter screw that, I'll just use a knife and a template. I made the first batch but they turned out too sloppy and lost their shape so I'ma do another lot. GUYS, YOU WILL GET BISCUITS. SOMEDAY.
*Kali picture
*find goddamn Vesna ref
*do better Vesna ref once I've found the old one so I know how her stupid arm things go
*finish example icons for hopeful moneeeyzzz
*finish star wars character refs
*Vesna pic 1
*Vesna pic 2 (screw you vesna)
*Em fanart
*Metrazol pic
*Marisuu pic
*blue lantern furret
*nekkid Soshika pic for Kilo
*shaymin pic
*pokemon art meme
*sims 2 cc stuff
*scan older stuff in and finally send it to the people it was for etc.
*EPIC POKEMON FANFIC
*DO NOT start anything new I mean it this time no seriously don't
*errrr, peacock dragon
*and deryckak's christmas present
*FAILURE TO KEEP ELECTION PROMISES

...yeah. Sorry, people who are waiting for stuff, things have been sucking like a black hole around here recently. I came down with another snot bug. Mum is really not well and I'm the only one who seems to notice when she's going into a down phase. I dunno, either I'm an empath or these people have skin like rhinos. And by these people I mean my father. My new doctor went on holiday for two weeks, and then when she came back she was ill, so I'm just flopping about like an old dishcloth and being pathetically grateful for all the music people have uploaded, particularly Deryckak <3

Someone should start a sabrous rp on tegaki. That would be awesome. The rps on tegaki at the moment are either dressing room style things (bleh) or SUPA ELITE (help). Plus it would be advertising. And stuff. I'M ILL, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

I hate hospital. I hate it like I hate mushrooms. That is a whole lot of hate.

Northern Lights film! WOOOO

Check me out! I'm a wildcat...FOR NOW.