pyrrhocorax: a furret has a pink flower behind her ear (Default)
( Dec. 8th, 2014 04:40 pm)
* can movember be over yet please

* I got a goat for my birthday! both a soft fluffy goat for cuddling and an live hungry goat for eating scrub on wildlife reserves and thus protecting valuable chalk grassland habitat. the big goat (who I only really "adopted" a share in) is called Cassie and the little goat is called Cassis because puns are cute. Cassie is white with one pinkish horn and one grey horn, while Cassis is white all over and wears a tiny goat coat to prevent me spilling chocolate oat milk on her (again).

* Olivia moved back to Bigsock and put her house in the spot I least wanted it but OH WELL I guess I will have to rearrange the flowerbeds.

* I got a jigsaw (not really hard enough but my aunt didn't know I am actually a god of jigsaws) and some nice warm purple clothes and a book about maths that I got halfway through a year ago but had to return to the library. the book is really interesting but I don't think anyone who reads this really wants to hear about set theory so I will spare you.

* I hate getting older and older without accomplishing anything. I want to go to university SO MUCH and learn and make friends and just have a semi-normal life. maybe one day. at least I don't look old I guess?

* I don't want to end this on a downer. lately I've been making more effort to talk to people I like and I think it's going quite well? I've been having problems with skype and so if you want to talk to me it's best to do it through pidgin (which you can use with msn and aim and other instant messengers as I'm sure you know). or email me or message here or something! I like to talk to you, person reading this!
pyrrhocorax: It's an edition of the Daily Bugle newspaper, with the headline EVERYTHING AWFUL Oh God Somebody Do Something (everything awful)
( Apr. 20th, 2014 02:22 pm)
not one person has joined my exchange. I was so psyched about it. I should have realised that no one would want something I had made. I'm so stupid for getting excited when I was always going to fail.

:(((((((((((
Back in England and the weather is horrible (as expected). There's union jack bunting freaking EVERYWHERE since the cycle race came through here. And YET ANOTHER survey arrived from the hospital.

Otomas is leaving for university soon. I'm glad that he's going to be out of here because he is not at all easy to live with, but I'm so sad that I still can't go. I'm almost 22, I wanted to go as soon as I hit 18! Learning is my jam! I really love classes and whiteboards and numbers and how dizzyingly wonderful the universe is and the feeling of finally understanding something and spending all morning on a problem and working together with science buddies and I am just so, so jealous. The funny (ha ha) bit is that he doesn't even want to go!

On the plus side though, I've seen a lot of resources for online courses on tumblr. So maaaaaaybe I can do some learning, even if I have to take it very slowly. I can't just give up. Lots of people did their best work in their thirties or fourties, I've still got time.
The weather is really looking up a bit here. I got a new bird feeder from the RSPB and lots of birds have been visiting, including sparrows, chaffinches, bullfinches, a tree creeper, and a greenfinch! I haven't seen some of these guys in years, so it's really nice. Unfortunately the squirrel also likes it and has bitten off some of the perches in his quest for delicious bird seed. >:[ He's also snapped two different branches with his weight. SQUIRREL, YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE SEED. YOU ARE FAT ENOUGH.

I'm kind of on a quest myself, a quest to make more friends. I don't really have any friends locally (they all either dumped me when I got ill or became drunk awful losers or aren't here anymore) and I have very few on the internet (they either turned out to be jerks or went offline and haven't been heard from since). I'm kind of lonely (understatement) but I'm also REALLY BAD at making friends (also an understatement). I'm awkward at starting conversation because I'm never sure if I'm being pushy or annoying the other person. The when we are loosely connected, I'm frightened to turn up the friendship heat because OMG WHAT IF THEY SECRETLY HATE ME. THEN there's the fact that I have quite high standards for a friend on a...moral basis I guess. A little bit of predjudice goes a long way to make me not want to be around you. And then there's the big one, which is that I'm kind of a crap friend prospect. I'm not around a lot, I'm always whining about my problems, I forget to use my IM, and I have bunches of mental issues that I suspect make me look like a total freak.

BUT! I have been trying. I've signed up to some dreamwidth communities, and though the seem to be mostly dead, I can try to revive them. My hateful metal health worker is doing something useful for once and looking into a local art group for me. I'm looking for art exchange communities to join. And I'm going to try to track down some of the people I miss the most using my Internet Detective Skillz.

Plz to be working, internet detective skillz, I really am lonely :(

(Though if you're reading this, THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME ILU I just want more friends, you know?)
Blah. I guess I'm starting to finally learn that this illness, condition, whatever, is something I can't just power through with sheer force of will. It's not a lesson I want to learn. But after trying to stick out the TC game and ending up spending the night on the bathroom floor and frightening everyone with internal bleeding worse than I've had for a year or so now, I think I'm going to have to start accepting that there are things I can't do. I think maybe I should quit the game, I feel horrible for holding everyone up. I should have known this was going to happen, I KNEW I was ill, I misjudged my own strength. Goddamnit.

Spent...yesterday? I guess? Asleep, then woke up and watched healing Star Trek. Acting so bad, plots so silly, Kirk and Spock so married.

Why do I always get ugly Blanca faces, isn't nintendo interested in quality control >|
pyrrhocorax: a furret has a pink flower behind her ear (Rax)
( Sep. 14th, 2007 11:39 am)
Things that suck:

1. All my disks are full. This means no scanning, drawing or new music till I get a new one, unless I delete stuff first.

2. School is really, really hard work. I don't think I get half the stuff in my further maths class. Plus, half my teachers are borderline jerks? Or maybe I'm just sensitive.

3. I haven't managed to play Sabrous in weeks, I'm barely able to play any games at all actually. I'm squeezing as much drawing and playing pokemon in to the tiny gaps between schoolwork and sleeping.

Things that do not suck:

1. People who I was really worried about seem to be taking a turn for the better, which makes me happy.

2. There is a fox asleep on our lawn.

3.Plusle and Minum in mystery dungeon are unbelievbly adorable. "Please, please save my love!" D'awwww.

I WANT MOOOSIIIC DAMNIT.
pyrrhocorax: a furret has a pink flower behind her ear (Default)
( Apr. 25th, 2007 10:47 pm)
If I get any more depressed, I'm going to sink below sea level and never be seen again by all who dwell in mortal realms. Just....blargg. I can't seem to concentrate on anything, I don't want to eat, and I'm sleeping more than I'm awake. I do not know what my meds think they're playing at. LOL SORRY GAVE YOU COUGH SWEETS INSTEAD OOOPS actually with Doctor McUslesspants at the helm that's not really unlikely. OKAY ENOUGH EMO NOW SUBLIMATE SUBLIMATE LET'S TALK ABOUT HAPPY STUFF.

Stuff I like wot begins with the letter B wot was gifted to me from above.

1.Birds: YOU CAN KEEP YOUR LAMEASS MAMMALS I LIKE BOIDS.
2.Buzz Lightyear: Toy Story scared my pants of when I was a kid, but Buzz Lightyear made watching it worth the terror. I liked him, and then there was the bit with the hat and being Mrs. Nesbitt and I fell in love.
3.Bitch-fights: Doesn't matter who loses, cos they both be skanks! Entertainment at its best.
4.Barbecues: If you can't smell lighter fluid, it ain't summer.
5.Bouncing on trampolines: I used to be quite good, I could do flips and all. I don't expect I still can BUT I LIKE TRYING.
6.Beaches: Particularly rocky ones with coves and things.
7.Bass: That which one pumps up.
8.Board games: I WAS THE HAT I insist on playing these with everyone. Beware.
9.Bust-a-move 3: Oh god where do I begin. Addictive as hell, full of crazy Japanese strippers, and with the most funky music ever. I liked them all but this one made the series for me. YES IT IS A SERIOUS EMOTIONAL CONNECTION what is wrong with me.
10.Bracelets: You can tell how funky I'm feeling by how much rainbow sparkly junk is on my arms.
But I never seem to do anything worthy of writing about. I spend half the time being ill (THANKS IMMUNE SYSTEM, WAY TO GO) and the other half putzing around/studying/drawing. NOT THAT EXCITING. So in conclusion - song does not match mood.

Have a silly Bubs doodle instead.

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